The world is terrifying right now. There’s a full blown civil war looming in Libya, Russians invading the sovereign nation of Ukraine, an extremist army in Iraq and Syria trying to control the region, Israel and Gaza are still at war, Africa is currently dealing with the worst Ebola outbreak in history, black people are being killed for their skin color, and women are still being demeaned and oppressed. I wonder what’s going to happen next. There’s just too much chaos.

You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don’t waste your time on anything else.

Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things  (via itsjustalilstigma)

Reblogged mostly for the URL. Also, because everyone is telling me I HAVE TO read “Wild”. Or go see the movie.

Hate to be a bitch here, but why? Why do I need to see it? The very genre of ‘heal-yourself’ kickass female protaganist memoirs seem to exist to give ableists a chance to tell you to get the hell over yourself while simultaneously feeling very good about themselves.

I will probably read “Wild” because I loved Ms. Strayed as Dear Sugar and I don’t want to see the movie.

But I hate hate hate and resent the idea that one woman’s journey out of darkness is a WYSIWYG template for those of us still inconveniently broken.

I feel about Strong Female Characters Kicking Depression to the Curb stories like I imagine straight men feel about romantic comedies.

And I realize I’m about to quote myself here.

But - I can appreciate and respect one person’s story as just that, that ONE PERSON’s STORY. 

It is the well-meaning, insenstitve family and friends (and people who only read books that are for people who don’t read books) who make the exception, into an ideal.

The information-consumerist, social media culture, always eager to turn a complicated narrative into a feel-good trope, transforms the exception into an ideal.

The ideal becomes the norm. The norm is imposed on all of us still broken, still unable to drive to the goddamned store every day, let alone fuck around in Bali or hike the Pacific Trail.

Cheryl Strayed gets it about love, though.

I won’t waste my time on people who don’t love me in spite of my own individual ways of being happy and healthy through my own journey.



This is a very serious disease* so I gladly accept the “bucket challenge”

*My heart goes out to all those who struggle with ALS but I am, of course, talking about the disease of apathy.  If (and hopefully when) Michael Brown’s killer is brought to justice and convicted of 1st degree murder, it still won’t prevent this from happening again. We cannot accept this as the status quo. We MUST continue the fight at the ballot box, in the media and by working to create systemic change. I’m not naive to the dirty politics (redistricting, voter ID requirements, etc) that will try to prevent us from our goal. But I refuse to give up hope. My “bullet bucket challenge” is not about pointing fingers and it’s not about being angry. Every shell casing in that bucket represents the life of someone who fought and died in the goal for civil rights and human dignity. As a member of law enforcement (yes I really am a reserve sheriff) I will not stand idly by while others violate civil and human rights under the cover of authority and I will insist that other good cops rise to the same standard as well. As a black man I will demand more from myself and my community. I will not allow outsiders to co-opt our struggle in order to commit violence in our name. I’m channeling my outrage into action so I no longer feel powerless. It’s not about black or white. It’s not about rich or poor. It’s about us vs. them. There are more of us — from all races, genders and identities — then there will ever be of them. And we will be victorious”

"The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality"

Join me.